Friday, April 30, 2010

Letting God Take It All

School is coming close to an end and i just cant wait for it to be over. Except the stress level is running so high right now and i feel so much stress. I don't think i have ever been this worried or stressed about something. Teachers are excepting a ton from me and i have never had that before. But i need to realize that my God cares enough to take all my worries and stress and just give it all to Him. A lot of things have been on my heart lately. Things that i just need to give to God and just trust Him with it for i dont have control. I have such a problem with worrying and not trusting my God that He will take care of me. As Psalm 91 says, "Because he loves me says the Lord, I will rescue him, i will protect him for he acknowledges My Name." I need to remember my God's promise that He will be there for me.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Isaiah 40

Isaiah 40 has some really great stuff. I never really read it before and it is such an amazing chapter because it talks about the glory of God and the incredible power that He has. When i read this, i cant help but think that this is the God i serve. This is the God that loves me so much that i cant even comprehend. I am so not worthy, yet he still loves me and calls me His daughter.

"Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing." Isaiah 40:26

Saturday, April 24, 2010

We fall but He picks us back up

Sometimes there are moments in your life where you try so hard to serve God and be everything that He wants you to be and you just cant do it. you fall. i guess i feel like i have to please people and make them happy by the way i live, but really i need to be so concerned about the way i live my life and what i do to please my Father. It brakes my heart when i know that i let him down and its a feeling that i cant explain. My life is to please God and make Him smile in everything i do. So when i screw up, i feel like i cant go on again. But i guess, that's where His amazing love comes into play. I know that he will accept me into His arms even though i don't deserve it. My heart hurts because i know i could have done better. I always ask myself why and wish i could have gone back and done it better. The way God would have wanted it. But i know that I'm human and fall ALL the time, that's why it is so hard for me to understand the love of God, that fact He will love me no matter what. Thank you so much Jesus!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Precious Moments

We were on our way to the cities for Macphail and i was sitting by gabbie and she is getting closer to the age where she wants answers for everything. So she just started talking about Jesus and how much she loves Him. It was the greatest thing. Then she started asking questions like "did Jesus know he was going to get hurt that bad when he died on the cross for us " or " Did God create Jesus?" I was so cool to talk to her about Jesus and it was also so precious when she said " do you know who i love to talk about?" and i said who? She said " Jesus." I thought that was so cute and so special.

Today i just feel so drained. I just cant wait for school to be over so i can spend a bunch of time with my Prince. I love spending time with Him so much and i wish i could give every moment to Him. When i was homeschooled, i had the exucse of reading the bible instead of my school, but i dont think that would work to well with my teachers at the tech. My God is soooo amazing and blows my mind. I love Him with all my heart and i want to learn more and more about him! He means everything to me. There are times in my life where my heart kind of hurts, but whenever i ask for Him to be there with me, he never lets me down. He is always faithful! Man, i want the whole world to know this Love that i know. This kind of relationship that will NEVER die. A friendship that will never pass away. I will be with this AWESOME friend of mine for the rest of my days. Forever. Thank you Jesus so much for dying for me so i can be with you and have this relationship with you that is so incredible. Help me to have a heart that burns for your Name.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Praising Him in All Occasions

Today was pretty much the longest day of my life. I went to St. Ben's today for an orchestra thing called CLC where orchestras from all over Central Lakes come together and play music. It is a pretty cool thing but it gets incredibly long. We left the high school at 7 am and got home at 9:30 pm. Yeah, that pretty much says it right there. But i guess when i think about it, i am blessed with so much and have no reason to complain at all. I was blessed with amazing opportunity to play with people who love music all day. God is good. ALL the time. I am blessed. I need to realize that more and be thankful for the things and gifts my Lord has given me!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Giving Everything

I was riding today with my dad in the pump truck and it brought back so many wonderful memories of when i was little just spending time with him. I love my dad so much and have such an amazing relationship with him and i am so thankful so that. Anyway, we were just listening to the radio and it was talking about a Jewish man who was with the Germans and experienced so much and saw so much. Such horrible things that just make me sick. I can't understand why man can be so incredibly cruel to other human beings. it is just so sad. When we were listening, my dad started telling me this story about a German who took Jewish people as "slaves" but was really helping them and keeping them alive. As my dad was telling me this, he just started braking down and crying. I have never seen my dad like that. I have seen him cry but something about that moment was different. I saw the compassion and the love that he has for people. I just started to cry with him and hearing what this man did for these people is amazing. He sold everything he had just to help them. And when it was all over, he was shaking the Jewish peoples hands and they said " your car is waiting sir " and as he looked at his car and the ring and watch on his wrist, He thought to himself, " why didn't i sell these things? Why? i could have saved 10 more people! I could have saved more people if i would have sold these things. " Man, this is love. This is what our God calls us to do. To help the people who are needy and helpless. This man had an amazing example of this and showed love to these people. If i think about what i have, i could save thousands of I am so selfish. My heart just hurts for these people in need. But yet there is something inside of me that says i can't do anything. But i know through Jesus Christ everything is possible. Ask and you shall receive. We need to stop thinking about ourselves and give what we think is so important and give to others who are dying for love and food. We need to be Jesus to people who need it the most. People are hungry. Why don't we feed them and love them?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Battle

Today in c-groups, we watched a movie on how it will be in college and what we need to do to prepare for college. It really made me sad when they said christian colleges have people sleeping around, getting drunk and having parties all the time. This just saddens my heart knowing that there are so many lost people out there but call themselves followers of God. What does it mean to follow Him? Obviously this is something that we all need to consider because people aren't getting. When we accept Jesus into our life, God tells us to go and sin no more. I understand that we are sinful people and not perfect, but we need to strive with everything that we are and take the help of God to become more like Him, not become more like this world. We are called to be set apart, holy people of the God most High! Anyway, after we watched the movie, a conversation was brought up on how we aren't fighting a battle because we are suppose to love one another. But i think, we are fighting a battle. The bible says we are, but not of flesh and blood but with the dark spirits of this world. Satan. And since we are called to love each other, and they are doing something that is not right, if we truly love that person and want to help them, you would tell them that is not OK. That is love.

Wow, i have learned so much about this AWESOME God and i keep learning new stuff every single day. I am struggling with something so hard right now. I have never been in a situation like this before and it is SO hard. But looking back and looking right now at my life in this hard time, i know it is for a purpose. I know God is doing it for a reason and in the end it will turn out into something beautiful. My Jesus loves me so much that i can't even comprehend so i know that He cares about my life and my worries. This time in my life i know will be gone so fast. I need to learn to not take for granite the little things in life and live every day to the fullest and act as if i would die tomorrow. I need to. My life is so short and it bugs me to think that i waste it on stupid stuff instead of giving it all to my God. I have so many plans and goals in my life, but my biggest one and most important one is living 100 percent for my Jesus!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

This Lost World

Before me are people standing with a puzzled, worried look on their faces, looking both directions but yet not taking the chance to cross the road. Jesus is calling out to them letting them know its safe to cross but yet they have a fear and they can't put their trust in Him. He can see if it is safe to cross and knows if a car is coming or not yet they still can't trust Him. This picture reminds me of everyday life. Jesus is there across the street calling to us, telling us its OK to cross and come spend time with Him and live with Him, yet we are placed with fear and not trust. Why are we so worried about what is going to happen, when Jesus has it all under control and can see the whole picture.
Today i have been thinking on other things instead of my God. It saddens me that i can't give everything i am to the one that loves me so much that He gave his life. So my challenge right now is to give Him everything. Now when i think about that, what does everything mean? Does it mean my thoughts, my school, when i eat, when i sleep? Everything i do needs to be for my King. God calls us to love him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. That is EVERYTHING we do. not just some of it. So my prayer is that i will know what that means truly and take it into action. I cant so it on my own, that's why i have Him right there beside me.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Give it all to God

Today was Easter. My cousin came up last night so that was really fun to see her since i haven't seen her in a long time. Glen and Mary are here also so that is also a lot of fun. They are such an amazing blessing in my life and i call them my grandpa and grandma. They have always been there for me and i know that they always will. Since
Since today is Easter, i thought i would reflect on how amazing the gift that Jesus has given the world. I watched the Passion of Christ the other day and when ever i watch it i just can't stop crying. But for some reason this time was worse. When i was watching Jesus being whipped, i kept thinking, he was thinking about me and taking all that for ME! Wow, i feel so unworthy. But the crazy thing is, He loves me so much that he took it and went through with it just so i could spend forever with him in heaven. My God is incredible. They pain that he felt, the emotional burden that he carried, the weight of every sin in the past, present and future of the WHOLE world blows my mind. I cant even imagine. That kind of love in unthinkable. This God that gave his life for me and loves me enough to be forsaken by His father and bare the sins of the world did that for me.

I have been dealing with stress today because i worry so much about homework and if I'm going to get it done and most importantly, if i will get a good grade. I have this problem where i feel like i have to be perfect at everything in school other wise I'm stupid or something. I know that I'm human and fall short all the time but i cant seem to get this one through my head. So I'm asking God for His wisdom and strength in school because everything i do is bringing praise to my God, so I'm striving to bring praise to Him with my school. I have been learning what actual worship is. Most people think worship is singing praise music and just singing for the Lord. But worship is so much more. It is obedience to God. That is the highest form of worship. Everything we so is bringing praise to Jesus.